Chapter 84: Silver Soul (Earth Arc)

Living together before marriage is a trial for couples, a way to test compatibility and work through differences.

“Gin-san, didn’t you say you were willing to date me with marriage as the premise?” Take Okakura asked, feigning shyness as she gazed at Gintoki. “So… would you be willing to live with me?”

What?! Gintoki was utterly stunned. After a few seconds, he waved his hands frantically. “No, no, no! Right now, you see, I can’t give you anything yet, can I? I’m a man, after all—how can I move in with you? Just give me a bit more time, okay? There are still some things I need to deal with. Once I’ve sorted them out, we can talk about this again, alright?”

His eyes darted around the floor, sweat beading on his forehead, face flushed, movements flustered. Watching his panicked gestures, Take Okakura’s eyes narrowed into amused slits.

This guy… he’s lying again.

“Gin-san!” Take suddenly threw herself at Gintoki.

“Huh? What is it?” Gintoki scrambled to catch her.

Take flashed a wicked grin out of Gintoki’s line of sight, then turned back with her gentle smile. She blinked her deep black eyes and spoke in a voice soft as velvet. “Gin-san, now that we’re officially together, you must visit me often. If you leave me lonely…” Take gently traced Gintoki’s neck with a cold fork.

The icy, tingling sensation made Gintoki shiver.

Take leaned close to his ear, blowing softly. In a low voice, she said, “Then I’ll have to punish you, Gin-san.”

Gintoki’s whole body went numb. Imagining what would happen if she discovered he was juggling seven relationships—

This woman might just tie him to a rocket and launch him into space!

“I—I’ll definitely visit you often. You’re so important to me, how could I not?” Gintoki replied, drenched in cold sweat.

Take released his neck, then suddenly seemed to remember something. She turned to Gintoki and said, “By the way, Gin-san, Otae told me she recently found a boyfriend and plans to move in with him. She called and asked me to help her move.”

Gintoki’s pupils doubled in size—this was a super crisis!

“Idiot!” Gintoki pulled Take into his arms.

“You just went through something like that with me, so you should stay home and rest. That gorilla woman doesn’t need your help anyway. She’s got Shinpachi, and though he’s just a guy with glasses, at least he’s trained in kendo. There’s no reason for a delicate woman like you to get involved!” Gintoki ended up saying words he didn’t even believe.

Take, delicate? Gintoki thought this was his biggest lie ever.

“Ah, Gin-san, you care so much for me—I’m so happy!” Take snuggled in his arms, actually listening to his heartbeat. She heard it thundering at well over a hundred beats per minute.

“Then I’ll tell Otae I can’t make it. But Gin-san, could you lend a hand? And see what Otae’s boyfriend looks like? I’m really curious.” Take looked up at him.

Thump, thump, thump! Gintoki’s heart raced again. Seeing Take’s gentle gaze, guilt overwhelmed him. The other six women were easier to fool, but his relationship with Take was established, so deceiving her brought the most pressure.

“I… I just remembered I have work soon. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Rest early. Goodbye.” Gintoki pushed Take out of his embrace and sprinted away.

Take leaned against the door, watching Gintoki’s retreating figure until he was completely out of sight. She chuckled softly, pulled a fork from her pocket and toyed with it, the corridor’s light casting her lowered face in shadow.

The next day, Take received a text from Sarutobi with an update: Gintoki had moved into the long house, living with the five of them. Oddly enough, Hasegawa had moved in too, though he stayed in the doghouse.

Finally, Sarutobi said the date plan could proceed.

Take replied simply, “Got it,” then closed her phone.

Just a little more and she could savor that look of utter despair on Gintoki’s face. She was truly looking forward to it.

On the morning of the sixth, Take rose early and went out to meet Otae. Their operation began.

“Otae, how have you been lately?” Take asked.

“Though the long house is really rundown, watching Gintoki flustered every day is such fun—even Kyubei says she’s having a great time,” Otae said, laughing behind her hand.

Having a great time… Just what do they take that useless guy for? Take thought, but realized she was just the same—she was enjoying it, too.

After buying groceries, they headed to the long house where Otae, Otose, Sarutobi, Kyubei, Tsukuyo, and the extra Madao lived.

Just outside, they “happened” to bump into Sarutobi, who was also out shopping. The three stopped to chat.

Meanwhile, huddled in the corner, Gintoki trembled in fear seeing these three women gather—a meeting of monsters!

“My, what a coincidence, running into you here,” Sarutobi feigned surprise.

“Sarutobi, what are you doing here?” Otae acted just as astonished.

Such good acting, Take thought. Now it was her turn.

“I didn’t expect you to live here, Sarutobi. What a stroke of luck!” Take smiled.

“Oh? Want to know? Actually, I’ve started living with my darling in this long house, wrapped up in sweet cohabitation,” Sarutobi said, chin raised, lost in bliss.

“Did a new dating simulator come out recently, Sarutobi?” Take tilted her head, curious.

“How rude—it’s real life!” Sarutobi protested.

“Oh, the kind you need 3D glasses for,” Otae quipped.

“No!” Sarutobi shouted.

“What a coincidence. I’ve started living with someone in this long house, too,” Otae giggled.

“With a tomboy like you? You must be joking,” Sarutobi said.

“Ah, such a coincidence, Otae. I’m not living with mine yet, but we’re dating. He says he’ll visit me often,” Take said, feigning happiness.

“No way! You tomboys, you must be kidding. Who’s the guy?” Sarutobi acted incredulous.

“Sorry, my guy says not to reveal our relationship yet—he’s shy,” Take waved her hand.

Inside, she thought, “Shy? Who is that supposed to describe? That definitely doesn’t fit the silver-haired guy juggling seven relationships.”

Gintoki, on his end, felt weak, sweating profusely, praying none of the three women slipped up.

Then Kyubei, Tsukuyo, and Otose joined. All six women compared their boyfriends.

“My boyfriend has great potential—oh, and he’s one of the Seven Warlords,” Take smiled.

Gintoki’s face nearly cracked. There were no Seven Warlords! Just how much did these women love One Piece? The Seven Warlords were all him! There was only one Warlord—Gintoki!

That evening, Take called up the silver-haired guy. She pulled Gintoki’s hand and smiled. “Gin-san, let’s have a date tomorrow, the seventh. Seven is my lucky number.”

Lies! Gintoki raged inside, but his mouth started making excuses.

“Let’s wait until the fourteenth. Seven plus seven equals fourteen—double the luck. Let’s go then,” Gintoki said.

In an instant, a cold glint flashed in Take’s eyes. She gripped his neck and lifted him off the ground.

“The seventh!” Take slowly raised her head, gazing at Gintoki dangling in midair.

“Okay… The seventh is perfect…” Gintoki agreed with difficulty.

“Gin-san, you’re so wonderful! I love you most!” Take immediately released him and jumped into his arms.

Gintoki was already foaming at the mouth, but the thought of tomorrow’s date with this group of monstrous women filled him with dread. He’d surely die!

On the evening of the seventh, at 6:50, Take changed clothes and took the subway to the date spot, since it was rush hour and driving was inconvenient.

When Take arrived, she saw Gintoki already standing there in a black suit, tall beneath the streetlamp.

Take couldn’t help but smile. Gintoki’s suit was neither stylish nor well-made, making him look like a karaoke greeter.

But… Take’s heart still skipped a beat. Come to think of it, this was their first date.

She ran over and hooked his arm. “Gintoki, let’s go inside.”

“Ah, sure, let’s go,” Gintoki replied, still nervous—mostly about the five inflatable dolls and the five female monsters inside.

Seeing Take’s cheerful expression beside him, Gintoki’s guilt surged anew.

Inside the cinema, Take and Gintoki found their seats. Nearby, Gintoki dolls and other women were already seated. Behind them, Hattori discreetly provided support.

Take intended to enjoy the movie with Gintoki, but after three minutes she couldn’t hold out. With frequent business trips, she was tired of stargazing. The soothing music lulled her; she tilted her head and fell fast asleep…

Gintoki relaxed when he saw Take asleep—now he and Hattori’s behind-the-scenes maneuvers would be less likely to be discovered.

But fate had other plans. Hattori’s hemorrhoids flared up, forcing him to the restroom, leaving Gintoki to battle the five Gintoki dolls alone. After a fierce struggle, all five dolls met tragic ends…

He saw one dismembered by Otae, one pinned to the screen by Tsukuyo’s kunai, one crushed under Otose’s foot, one kicked across the room by Kyubei, and one inflated from the rear by Sarutobi…

Aside from those five women, he was also accompanied by a sleeping Godzilla… At this rate, he’d be torn into six pieces!

Gintoki quietly left his seat, crawling toward the exit… He had to escape!

Just then, Take was roused by the commotion of Otae and the others. She opened her eyes, looked around, and found Gintoki missing. Glancing down, she saw him crawling forward, butt in the air.

“Gin-san, what are you doing?” Take asked groggily.

Her call drew the attention of the other five women. Gintoki slowly turned, his face deathly pale…

“Gintoki.” All the women smiled as they walked toward him.

“Ahhhhhhhhhh!!” Gintoki’s wails echoed through the cinema, becoming the film’s final soundtrack.

Author’s Note: One update