Chapter 104: Silver Soul (Earth Arc)

When a woman is surrounded by a large group of handsome men, she would normally feel delighted. Yet, Taketake Okakura found it rather troublesome at the moment. She quietly turned her head to Touhouji, who was standing nearby, and asked, “Are all these so-called universe’s top hosts you arranged not a bit too conspicuous? And why must they all follow closely behind me?”

“You’re our clan leader, so naturally, wherever you go, we must follow. Besides, these hosts are all from our establishment, so it’s only proper to bring them along,” Touhouji explained.

Okakura was overwhelmed. During that month on the planet Chris, she finally understood why the Kishari clan had managed to survive in such a perilous universe—they had actually opened a massive male host club named abc.dotch. And the “dotch” part? They seemed to think this was some sort of menu choice, like being able to select dishes freely!

The name abc (a: Akihabara Boy, b: Babyface, c: Virgin) .dotch meant, “Do you want an A-type man, B-type man, or C-type man?” Honestly, it might as well have been called dko (d: Fat pig, k: Ugly guy, o: Otaku).

The Kishari concealed their faces and scoured the universe for abandoned boys. Those with good looks became hosts, the average-looking ones served as attendants, and the unattractive ones, if favored by clients with special tastes, stayed at the front desk; otherwise, they helped out in the kitchen. The Kishari even hired mercenaries to protect their safety—they were just too weak otherwise.

Yet, despite their poor combat strength, their business acumen was top-notch.

In just over a decade, these fleeing Kishari had built a renowned host empire across the universe—abc.dotch.

Touhouji’s plan was to distract Okakura, ensnare her heart, and bring her into the Kishari fold. Once she agreed to return, abc.dotch would be hers.

But seeing the variety of handsome men trailing behind her, Okakura was intimidated. She might be a great demon queen, but she wasn’t cut out to be a queen in this sense.

“Look, you’re living quite well now. Just stop following me, alright? My friends are here to pick me up… Ah! Gin-san! Shinpachi, Kagura, I’m over here!” Okakura waved at the trio from the odd-jobs business.

“...” Gintoki.

“...” Shinpachi.

They had already noticed her, because being surrounded by such a gaggle of handsome men made her impossible to overlook.

“Take-chan, you’re just too cool!” Kagura was the first to rush over, excitedly looking at the handsome men around Okakura. “What do all these people do?”

One of the handsome men standing beside Okakura stepped forward, holding out a small boxed cake he had somehow procured, smiling. “Lovely lady, we are hosts from abc.dotch. When you grow up, please come visit our club.”

“...” Okakura, are these guys already poaching future clients? Truly deserving of the title ‘universe’s number one host club.’

“Cake!” Kagura happily took the small cake from the handsome man’s hand. “Great! I’m the queen of Kabukicho, so it’s your honor to have me visit.” She said proudly, tilting her head back.

“Gin-san, come help me with my luggage. I even bought you some strawberry-flavored jerky.” Okakura waved at a distant Gintoki, whose expression was unreadable.

“This is bad, Shinpachi. Do you think I should go back and change into a suit, rent a fancy car, and come back as the leading man in a prime-time drama? The men behind that woman are just too dazzling. Gin-san’s usual dull silver glow turns gray next to them!” Gintoki turned to whisper to Shinpachi.

“You’re right, Gin-san. Those guys…” Shinpachi glanced complicatedly at the group of well-built, handsome men. Though reluctant to admit it, they outshone the surrounding men so badly that those beaten-down fellows were tugging at their girlfriends, whose eyes were now hearts, trying to leave.

Damn it! This had to be all Elder Sister Tamago’s fault! That’s why he turned out to be Shinpachi!

“Shinpachi, don’t blame your own faults on strange cuisine. They only made you wear glasses; everything else is beyond their control,” Gintoki coldly shattered Shinpachi’s fantasy.

“You bastard! Don’t pry into my thoughts without permission!” Shinpachi blushed with frustration.

“Gin-san, Shinpachi, what are you two doing here? Come quickly! They’re giving out free cakes over there. We can’t even afford meals now, so let’s grab more to take back as food!” Kagura came over with a handful of small cakes.

“...” The male hosts offering free cakes.

Gintoki scratched his head in defeat. “Sorry! Gin-san’s at fault for making you say such pathetic things. But these cakes are pretty delicious. Kagura, get a few more. That’ll solve our meals for the week.”

“...” Okakura, you’re the most pitiful of all!

“That’s enough, Gin-san. Stop eating. You’re utterly useless,” Okakura said as she approached, handing her suitcase to Gintoki. “There are souvenirs inside for you, Kagura, Shinpachi, and Ayame. Please carry them back for me.”

“Wait! I haven’t had breakfast today. I’ll help you after I finish these cakes,” Gintoki said, stuffing the cakes Kagura had brought into his mouth as he spoke.

“Clan leader, may I ask you to introduce your friends to us?” Touhouji approached, behind him a group of Kishari clan members, their black auras threatening.

“Sure,” Okakura agreed.

“That one with glasses packing cakes is Shimura Shinpachi,” he pointed to Shinpachi.

“The girl in the cheongsam is Kagura,” he indicated the one enjoying the cake service.

“And finally…” He pointed at Gintoki, whose face was distorted from stuffing cakes, “this is my boyfriend, Sakata Gintoki.”

Hissing—upon hearing the last part, all the Kishari members gasped sharply, their black auras darkening.

*Crunch, crunch—*

“Huh? That’s a loud gnashing sound?” Okakura asked curiously.

Touhouji quickly waved his hand at the people behind him, then turned back to Okakura. “Clan leader, we recently purchased a new storefront in Kabukicho. We won’t disturb your reunion with your friends any longer, but please come visit us when you have time. We will always be waiting for your return.”

With that, Touhouji waved, and all the Kishari clan members and the host club’s handsome men followed him away, leaving Okakura and the odd-jobs trio bewildered.

“No more cakes, argh,” Kagura lamented.

“So many cakes, we have meals for the whole week,” Shinpachi said, relieved.

“I can barely make it through today,” Gintoki licked his fingers.

“...” Okakura, could these guys possibly be more embarrassing?

Then, the odd-jobs trio followed Okakura back to her home. She gave them the souvenirs she had brought. The remainder intended for Ayame and the others she entrusted to Shinpachi, thinking him the most reliable. If she gave it to the other two, it would probably be eaten before reaching Kabukicho.

After gathering the souvenirs, Shinpachi dragged Kagura away. Since they now had food, they happily ditched Gintoki.

After a month apart, the two suddenly became quiet, and the atmosphere grew awkward.

“...” Okakura wondered, “Gin-san looks a bit strange. Should I say something?”

“...” Gintoki thought, Damn it! Men hate this kind of atmosphere!

“Gin-san...” Okakura broke the silence first, opening her arms. “It’s been a month. No sign or anything?”

“Women like to make trouble,” Gintoki scratched his head, eyes half-shut in a deadfish gaze. He opened his arms reluctantly and said, “But Gin-san will grudgingly cooperate.”

Okakura pounced, embracing Gintoki tightly in the still sweet-smelling warmth. Suddenly, she felt something slippery on her chest and looked down to see a large smear of cream on her clothes.

“Gin-san, how many small cakes did you stuff inside your clothes?” she asked, twitching her mouth.

“Not many, just packed over ten in the wrappers,” Gintoki said, picking his nose casually. “But since my clothes are dirty, looks like I’ll have to take a bath at your place.”

“...” Okakura thought, Curly hair, you’re dead meat!

That night, Okakura and Gintoki lay together in the dark room, unable to see each other’s faces.

“Gin-san, my clan came looking for me,” Okakura finally told Gintoki about the Kishari clan.

“Hm? Who, those hosts?” Gin-san mumbled groggily.

“No, the masked ones. Gin-san, I’m a bit lost... Gin-san…?” Okakura turned over.

“...Zzz...” Gintoki was already fast asleep.

“Of course, I can’t have a serious conversation with this guy,” Okakura sighed and closed her eyes.

Shortly after Okakura fell asleep, Gintoki opened his eyes. Looking at her sleeping form, his expression grew complicated. After a while, he gently pulled her into his embrace and closed his eyes.

The quiet night stretched on…

It had been a week since her return, and Okakura had settled back into daily life. But on the Friday before Saturday, she received an invitation from the Kishari clan.

It read that the abc.dotch host club had been open for several days and hoped she could come by.

Okakura examined the card and hesitated. Honestly, she wasn’t very interested in being clan leader, but those people said they needed her and had followed her all the way to Earth.

They were from her mother’s homeland. If her mother were alive, would she want her to take up the mantle?

Why was she wavering? She had been so resolute before. Was it because she saw those faces as ugly as her past self?

The Kishari—feared and hated by neighboring planets for their terrifying appearance, weak and oppressed, exploited until their planet was destroyed—survivors had ventured into the universe and carved out a path to survive.

In the end, Okakura decided not to dwell on these questions. She resolved to visit Kabukicho the next day to see how these people lived.

On Saturday, dressed casually, she went to Kabukicho. Was it her imagination, or were there unusually many women on the street today? And all seemed excited.

When she arrived at the abc.dotch host club, she finally understood why the streets were so crowded with women…

This place was dazzlingly luxurious! Not just the décor, but the sheer number of alien handsome men almost blinded her—so many species!

“Welcome! Clan leader, are you satisfied with our new host club?” Touhouji approached. Though masked, Okakura could hear pride in his voice.

“Very much so…” Okakura said, dumbfounded.

“Excuse me, beautiful lady, would you like to visit Takamagahara? Gin-san at your service.” Suddenly, a hand touched her shoulder. Turning, Okakura saw Gintoki dressed in a white suit, guest-starring as a host.

“Gin-san! You’re here…” Mid-sentence, her expression changed sharply as she looked across the street, recognizing a familiar place—Takamagahara.

Once the most luxurious male host club in Kabukicho, it was now rather desolate, with few customers, especially compared to abc.dotch just across the street.

“...” Okakura.

These days, no business was easy…

Author’s note: The ramblings of a crazy writer… Honestly, I don’t know what to say. I just feel the story’s about to end, so I want to make one last appearance. Don’t forget me! (Kicked! Do you think you’re a retiring idol from District 11?)

P.S. “Don’t forget me” is what idols from District 11 say when they retire and marry, but fans usually forget them in a few years because new stars emerge.

After all this chatter, I still want to say: Don’t forget meeeeeee! (Mud-covered!)