Chapter Twenty-Six: Must You Set Such Traps? [The author was forcibly kissed and urged to update faster, thus this chapter is released early upon parole.]

Pei Mu came running with a clatter, brandishing a small stick and pointing it straight at Wangchuan's nose. He glared, frozen in place, while I looked on, wide-eyed and amused, watching the two as if they were reenacting Wu Song slaying the tiger.

Wangchuan's lips kept twitching, his aloof demeanor completely shattered. Thinking about it, every cold and distant person eventually encounters someone who exposes their vulnerability. That person is either a lover or an enemy—in this case, the latter is all too obvious.

What piqued my curiosity, however, was why Wangchuan would take in such a creature in the Void Rift, let him reside in his own chambers, and then move out himself. Observing the situation now, perhaps Wangchuan's lazy yawning during the selection of guardian kittens was somehow connected to this fellow.

Previously, I thought Wangchuan's yawns and indolence were acts of elegance and style. Now, I realize—he was literally being worn down by this deranged qilin, drained and sleepless, perpetually exhausted.

It seems one should never pierce the veil behind every cold person's facade; it might prove unexpectedly hilarious.

Wangchuan, his face icy, grabbed Pei Mu's stick and moved it away from his nose.

"Clang—!" Pei Mu struck a pose once again, pointing his stick at Wangchuan. Wangchuan, visibly about to burst, moved the stick away once more, then swiftly dodged behind Pei Mu.

"Huh?" Pei Mu was slow to react and was instantly subdued by Wangchuan, who locked his arm around Pei Mu's neck.

Wangchuan gritted his teeth, his two sharp fangs gleaming with a chilling threat. Shards of glass littered the floor as Pei Mu glanced at Wangchuan beside him, then went limp, slipping out of the arm and collapsing stiffly onto the bed.

Perhaps he was so heavy that even I felt the recoil and staggered back several steps before regaining my balance.

Pei Mu, tears streaked across his face, wailed melodramatically, "You hit me! You actually hit me! Come, do it again—harder! Oh..."

Wangchuan, not holding back in the slightest, raised a long leg and stomped down on him.

With a thud, I trembled again and retreated a few more steps.

"Oh—heartless one! Such beautiful legs—oh my heavens—chirp, chirp, chirp—" The disturbingly affectionate sound of kissing toes filled the air as Pei Mu grinned sheepishly, while Wangchuan, disgusted, quickly shook his leg and moved away.

"Darling! Don't go! Can you really bear to abandon me? I'm such a lovable, sweet little qilin—there's not another like me in the immortal or spirit realms!"

Wangchuan smiled for a moment. "If I were to devour your essence, then perhaps I'd find you lovable and sweet." With that, he gathered his clothes as if preparing to seek another place to live.

Ah—I nodded, understanding another matter. It turned out Wangchuan hadn't graciously ceded his chambers to Pei Mu; he was ousted, lacking the will to resist, only wishing to get as far away as possible.

Pei Mu, head bowed, pondered for a long time, then suddenly, like a lightbulb flickering to life, widened his eyes. "Actually! You can't absorb my essence, but if you take away the 'essence,' you can eat what's left!"

Wangchuan's brow twitched again, dark energy swirling around him. "Get out!"

Pei Mu shrank back, then reached toward me. "Dearest, when will our romance blossom? How much do we recall of the past? How about we share the Lovers' Wine right now—"

I trembled, shaking my paw, nodding and shaking my head, unsure how to respond.

Suddenly, Wangchuan flung a black silk-like ribbon, whisking me away, and declared, "This cat no longer belongs to you!"

"Huh?" Pei Mu reached for nothing, blinking. "Didn't you say you'd give her to me?"

"But you also said you didn't want her."

"Why—why—!" He suddenly shouted, disrupting the previously composed conversation.

Even Wangchuan was startled, a heavy, dark line appearing on his brow as he turned away, unwilling to speak further.

"Kitten! Kitten, look at me! Don't leave! I still have gifts for you! How can you be so heartless? Heaven above—" Pei Mu's anguished cries echoed behind.

My curiosity nearly overcame me, but Wangchuan refused to turn around.

Until Pei Mu shouted, "Are you going to force me to reveal all your secrets?!"

Wangchuan's spine stiffened; his face grew impatient as he turned back.

Yet before he could speak, Pei Mu leapt from the bed with a swish. His green robe and trousers, reminiscent of a Peking opera costume, made him look, to my eyes, like a moving scallion.

The scallion somersaulted several times, humming, then produced something from his sleeve, flinging it at me.

Wangchuan was caught off guard, but the object struck my head with a thump.

Tiny stars spun before my eyes as I searched around. "What is this..."

"From now on, she is my cat! You have no rights over her!" Pei Mu snatched me from Wangchuan's stunned arms and patted my head.

My head hurt—what on earth hit me?

I kept searching the floor for the strange object, finally spotting something that shouldn't have appeared in Wangchuan's room: a ball, half white, half red, with a latch.

Yes, I guessed right—a Poké Ball—oh heavens!

I eyed Pei Mu askance. What madness was this qilin up to?

Wangchuan seemed equally baffled, arms crossed, lips twitching. "What nonsense are you up to?"

Pei Mu snorted mischievously. "Hmph~"

He pointed into the distance, gazing dramatically. "Since you have earnestly inquired, we shall mercifully enlighten you!"

"So?" Wangchuan, for once, seemed interested in hearing him ramble.

I, upon seeing the Poké Ball, knew exactly what was coming.

"To prevent the world from being destroyed! To protect the peace of the world! To uphold love and true evil! Cute and charming villains!"

With each phrase, Pei Mu struck a superhero pose, holding me and reciting, acting out every line.

Then he tapped my head, prompting me to cooperate.

Suppressing my laughter, I thought, well, why not—I’ll play along!

Pei Mu raised both hands to the sky, shouting, "Pei Mu!"

I followed dutifully, "White Meow!"

"We are Team Rocket, traversing the galaxy!"

"Two-person team!"

"White hole! A white tomorrow awaits us!"

"Meow~ just like that!"

"Oh—my darling!" Pei Mu spun around with me in his arms. "You’ve watched Pokémon too! I just adore Pikachu!"

I looked at Wangchuan’s face, dark as ink, scarcely able to believe it.

Was that really me, so perfectly in sync just now?

Was it really me?

Wangchuan glanced at me, then at Pei Mu. He looked at Pei Mu as one would a lunatic, stepped forward, gently scooped me from Pei Mu’s arms, and patted Pei Mu’s shoulder.

"You have three days to return to normal, or I swear I’ll kick you back to the immortal realm."

"No, no—" Pei Mu dropped to his knees, hugging Wangchuan’s waist. "For the peace of the universe—ow!"

With a brutal punch, Wangchuan knocked Pei Mu unconscious.

I stared in horror, swallowing hard.

Then Wangchuan kicked Pei Mu onto the bed, a bed littered with shards of glass...

Indeed... when two lunatics are together, there’s never a good outcome!

Shrinking my neck, I was carried away by Wangchuan, who set me down before a splendid little house.

"Go back. Continue being a guardian cat—you’re not suited to serve Pei Mu." Wangchuan crouched, covering his face, and I imagined he was regretting it.

Because of my presence, Pei Mu grew even more unhinged, so he must think bringing me along was a mistake.

It was always a mistake! Ha ha ha—

I tailed high in the air, parading my pride.

With a sudden yank, Wangchuan pulled a tuft of fur from my tail tip. "Don’t get too cocky! Today you meet friends, tomorrow you’ll be out searching for soul fragments!"

"Why!" I gritted my teeth in pain, snatched back my tail. "Wasn’t it said that guardian cats don’t need to hunt soul fragments?"

"Heh heh—" Wangchuan patted my head, grinning slyly. "No one said guardian cats can’t be punished. You—from tomorrow, you’ll search for soul fragments, five a day."

"Five?!" I yelped, retreating several steps, tail clamped tight. "Master, must you be so ruthless?"

"Yes." Wangchuan tapped my nose. "Because I’m very displeased—you interrupted me halfway, and even aided the villain. You deserve punishment."

"Halfway through what—" I muttered, spotting several cats ambling over in the distance, then turned. "Five it is! Hmph—"

Watching me dash away, Wangchuan smiled, then waved, dissolving into a cloud of black mist.

I glanced back stealthily, saw he had gone, and breathed a long sigh of relief. Then I rushed toward Fishball and the others, calling out, "I’m back—"

Fishball saw me sprinting on all fours and ran after me. "Where have you been?"

I thought the little white cat at Fishball’s side was Cloud, but it turned out to be the yellow-and-white tabby who, like me, became a guardian cat. Embarrassed, I laughed.

"There was a bit of chaos at Master’s place—I wasn’t sent back in time." I dared not say more, only offering this explanation!

The yellow-and-white tabby suddenly looked at me, eyes cold as ice.

"Hi—" I waved my paw in greeting, feeling as if frostbite was imminent.

The next moment, the cat leaped into the air, soared three feet high, spun and landed, then slapped me hard!