Volume One, Chapter Five: The Arrival of the Martial Uncle

Late that night, Yibing was startled by a sudden thud in the courtyard. No way—at this hour? That was just when Master had left the night before. Sure enough, before he could reach the door, Master’s head poked through the gap.

“Have Kun and the others returned with the message?” Master seemed uneasy, glancing anxiously around.

Yibing was at a loss.

“Heh… Good, they haven’t!” Master didn’t wait for a reply. With a swish, he darted right in front of Yibing.

“Master… you…” Yibing hesitated. He wanted to tell Master that had all happened last night, but seeing his crazed demeanor, he held his tongue.

“Pretty fast, right? Give me the candy balls!” Master exclaimed excitedly, producing a pink bag.

Yibing looked down. The pink bag was indeed full of candy balls, but these were oval and rosy, nothing like the black, round ones before.

“Eat up! Once you’ve eaten, keep training!” Master’s smile vanished instantly.

“Oh…” Yibing hurriedly grabbed one and popped it in his mouth. The old candy balls had a sweet and sour taste, but these were salty and sour, more deserving of the name “salty balls” than candy balls. Still, he dared not ask. Having something to eat was better than nothing.

In the blink of an eye, an hour passed. The new salty balls were gone, but Yibing felt no change. Apart from his stomach rumbling, the energy in his body was still running wild, impossible to control, let alone to open his main energy channels.

Master grew even more exasperated, his strikes coming harder and faster. Fortunately, Yibing’s tough hide kept him in one piece, though he felt terribly guilty. He’d eaten so many of Master’s sweets and still couldn’t make progress; he felt he owed Master an explanation. But ever since he’d eaten the new salty balls, his energy seemed to split into two currents—one hot, one cold—leaving his stomach wracked with pain.

“Master? My stomach hurts…” Yibing barely got the words out before Master’s big hand struck him across the face.

“You little rascal, pretending to have a stomachache! You’ve made a crater in the floor and haven’t sunk an inch into it!” Master tugged his beard in frustration.

“I’m not pretending, Master… Ow…” Suddenly, a sharp pain made Yibing clutch his stomach.

“Hah! Now he’s really putting on an act…” Master’s kick landed squarely between Yibing’s legs, and a thunderous fart erupted in the room.

“Ah!” Yibing sprang up and shot straight through the window.

“You little…” Master rushed after him, stunned—Yibing was actually flying, and rising fast, unable to stop.

“Master, save me! I can’t stop! Master, help!” As Yibing soared higher, he grew dizzy.

Daoist Menghong stood agape. “I taught him the art of earth-burrowing—why is he flying? Did I teach it backwards?”

“Wow! He’s flying!” The Hong brothers rushed out, exclaiming in unison.

Their cries snapped Menghong back to his senses. He reached out with a gesture, pulling Yibing back from the air.

“Thank you, Mas—ah!” Yibing’s joy turned to terror as he was yanked downward, plummeting headlong toward the ground.

“I distinctly remember teaching him earth-burrowing…” As Yibing fell past, he heard Master muttering. Instantly, the passage from the manual flashed in his mind.

With a plop, Yibing disappeared into the earth.

“He’s gone underground!” the Hong brothers cried out again.

Just then, an angry female voice echoed from above. “Senior brother! Return my elixirs!” Menghong didn’t even look up; he turned to flee, but before he could take off, someone seized his ear in a vice grip.

“Aunt Master!” The Hong brothers dropped to their knees with a thud.

A young woman with arched brows glared at them. “Hmph!”

“Younger sister… it hurts, it hurts…” Menghong begged.

“My Black Gold Elixirs—where are they?”

“They’re… gone…” Menghong didn’t dare resist.

“Gone?”

“Ah… eaten, all of them…”

“All of them? By whom?” She turned her glare on the Hong brothers, scaring them into frantic head-shakes.

“Yibing…” Seeing her confusion, Menghong hurried to explain, “My new disciple…”

“You—!” She twisted Menghong’s ear even harder. “Are you mad? Your elixirs are yang, mine are yin—eaten together, they could kill someone!”

“No… no… he’s fine, he even flew!” Menghong waved his arms desperately.

“No? Where is he?” She didn’t believe a word.

“He went underground…” Hong Kun pointed at the ground beneath Master’s feet.

“Really!” Hong Peng nodded emphatically.

She released her grip. Of all her senior brother’s disciples, she liked Hong Peng best—he’d never lied to her, so it must be true.

“I’ll fetch him,” Menghong said, glancing around for Yibing’s whereabouts underground.

“No need. Didn’t you see the rabbit bolt out?” she said, slapping herself in annoyance.

“Ah!” Menghong exclaimed and vanished without a trace.

“Oh, it’s all my fault—why mention a rabbit!” she sighed. “Get up.” The Hong brothers quickly stood.

“So his name is Yibing?” With a glance, she dove into the earth. Following the rabbit’s path of escape, she soon found a fat boy biting desperately onto a rabbit’s hind leg, as the frantic animal kicked for its life. She grabbed Yibing by the collar with one hand, pried his mouth open with the other, and leapt to the surface.

“Rabbit! Rabbit!” Yibing struggled to burrow back, but she held him fast.

“You… Mistress?” Staring at her beautiful face, Yibing was instantly entranced. Her cheeks flushed scarlet.

“Don’t talk nonsense! She’s Master’s junior, Daoist Mistress Xifeng—call her Aunt Master!” Hong Kun scolded with a slap.

“Aunt Master…” Yibing called uncertainly, thinking, “She and Master would make quite a pair!”

“You silly chub, always talking nonsense!” Xifeng chided playfully, clearly amused.

“Seeing how scared Master is of you, I thought…” Yibing pouted.

“You saw?” Xifeng arched an eyebrow.

“No, no! I just heard Master begging for mercy…”

“Ridiculous! He’s only afraid because he stole my elixirs!” Xifeng’s expression darkened as she checked Yibing’s pulse. Even while chasing a rabbit, he’d heard everything aboveground.

“Mistress—no, Aunt Master?” Yibing blurted out again.

“You little… still making jokes when your life’s at stake!” She pinched his fat cheek.

“Aunt Master, spare me! I’ll never do it again!” Yibing cried out, squirming in pain.

“It’s not up to me to spare you! You ate all my Black Gold Elixirs—mine are yin, your Master’s are yang, taken together they’re deadly! How many of your Master’s Chaos Gold Elixirs did you eat?”

Yibing’s face turned ashen as he shook his head.

“What does that mean? You don’t know?” Xifeng grew anxious.

“I don’t know! I just… ate the whole bag…” Hearing her words, Yibing felt faint and nearly collapsed, saved only by Hong Kun’s steadying hand. Their eyes met, and Hong Kun’s gaze was full of jealousy and envy, making Yibing quickly close his eyes to feign ignorance.

“Ah?!” Xifeng exclaimed, hastily checking his pulse.

“Don’t play dumb! Your energy flows smoothly, the channels are open—you’ve even cleared both main meridians! It’s… fate!” Seeing Yibing still half-lying in Hong Kun’s arms, she gave him a tap on the forehead.

“But… why am I still dizzy…” Yibing rubbed his forehead and shakily stood.

“Tell me everything in detail!” Xifeng was both exasperated and amused.

“Well… after finishing Master’s elixirs, that was it… a whole night passed, but Master thought it was still last night… the taste was different, salty… after eating, my stomach hurt, one current hot, one cold… then Master kicked me, I let out a huge fart… then I flew… and the rabbit, it’s such a shame…” Even at the end, Yibing couldn’t help mentioning the rabbit he’d nearly caught; his plaintive look nearly made Xifeng burst out laughing.

“Well, it’s fate! Since you’ve eaten them all, at least return the bag!” Seeing Yibing clutching the pink pouch, Xifeng reached for it.

Yibing hurried to smooth it out and hand it over. “Aunt Master, please don’t be angry with Master! He’s a little crazy, can’t keep anything straight, and teaches me all over the place! Other than his temper…,” Yibing rubbed his swollen cheek, “he’s actually very kind, never let me go hungry, and he gave me all those elixirs. If you must be angry, punish me!” Thinking of his pitiful Master, Yibing dropped to his knees with a thud.

The Hong brothers, burning with envy, were stunned by his defense of Master. Xifeng, too, was surprised and delighted—surprised that such a young boy dared take responsibility, delighted that her brother had finally found a good disciple.

“And how should I punish you?” Xifeng teased.

Yibing, panting and gritting his teeth, managed at last, “Let me go hungry for three… three… three days…” As soon as the words were out, he was filled with regret—three days was too much to bear.

“No food is punishment?” Xifeng scoffed, but seeing the Hong brothers nodding frantically, her lips parted in surprise.

“Three days is too long!” She frowned.

“Aunt Master…” Hong Kun interjected, “He’s terrified of hunger. Three days would really kill him!”

“Three and a… half?” Yibing, mustering a bit of bravado, looked at her with pitiful hope.

Xifeng was inwardly amused but kept her face stern, shaking her head.

“Three and a half… and two hours!” Yibing put on a look of noble sacrifice, though his legs were shaking.

“Aunt Master, just three days. He just escaped death—if he starves again…” Hong Peng finally spoke up.

“Fine! But you must agree to three requests from me,” Xifeng said, taking the opportunity.

“Aunt Master, anything you ask! I would die ten thousand times if you bid it!” Yibing forced himself to stand, though he was weak and his words bravado. But three days without food—he could have bitten his own tongue.

“I’ll tell you when I think of them…” Before she finished, Xifeng soared into the air, heading after Master.

“She’s just like Master—disappears in a flash!”

“Don’t talk nonsense!”

“Brother, I’m hungry!” Yibing turned to Hong Kun, pleading.

“You little…” Hong Kun was furious.

“Brother, don’t curse!” Hong Peng perked up.

“You want a beating?” Hong Kun glared, “If you dare break your promise to Aunt Master, even Master wouldn’t protect you!”

“Not even a little snack?” Yibing was near tears.

“Hang in there, Yibing! Aunt Master is much fiercer than Master!” Hong Peng comforted him, patting his chubby face.