Volume One, Chapter Twenty-Eight: Within and Beyond the Painting

Yibing was still dazed, only remembering being shoved and then tumbling onto the bridge. He tried to retrace his steps, but crashed into an invisible wall; no matter how he shouted or pounded, he couldn’t get out. Helpless, he had no choice but to cross the little bridge to the far bank. There, emerald grass stretched as far as the eye could see, and in the distance two peaks alternately concealed and revealed each other, with a golden palace faintly visible atop one summit.

“Did I somehow enter the painting?” Yibing muttered to himself. He turned to look, and sure enough, behind him a small river spanned the landscape just as it did in the mural. But the other side no longer showed the figures of Pangniuer and the others; instead, it was a mirror image of his own side—prairie, peaks, palace—like the mural gazing into a mirror.

“No way...” Panic fluttered in Yibing’s chest, and he hurried toward the riverbank. He wanted to swim across, but every time he neared the water’s surface, another invisible wall repelled him. Was there no break in the barrier? Unwilling to give up, he kept trying along the river, running faster and faster.

A plump figure could be seen rolling back and forth, sometimes from one end of the mural to the other, and then back again. The onlookers outside the wall followed his movement, their heads spinning from the spectacle. When Yibing finally gave up, everyone outside the wall let out a collective sigh of relief.

“Why does he keep running back and forth?” He Lingchi asked, gagging a little.

“I... I don’t know either…” Pangniuer patted her own chest.

Humans have human auras, monsters their own. Yibing’s intrusion was instantly detected by the shepherd girls, who all turned their heads, warily eyeing the little bridge.

“Oh no! We’ve been spotted! They’re all turning their heads!” Hongpeng was the first to cry out. Qi Yuanxiao couldn’t help but glance at him, thinking, “You’re certainly observant.”

“Yes, yes, and that fool is still sitting there like an idiot!” Hanyu, furious, kicked the wall hard.

Just then, Yibing, out of breath, listlessly glanced around and noticed, within arm’s reach, clusters of wild fruits. His spirits lifted immediately; nothing could dampen his appetite. He shuffled over, plucked a fruit, and popped it into his mouth—sweet enough! He began to gobble them down.

“Look at him, eating again!” Meiniang couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re laughing? The enemy is almost upon him!” Hanyu was not nearly as relaxed as Meiniang.

Sure enough, the shepherd girls had already gathered. All but two, who continued driving the human-faced sheep toward the palace, brandished whips and charged toward the bridge. Those watching outside the wall saw the painted figures converging on Yibing, who was still blissfully engrossed in eating, completely oblivious to the danger.

But just as the shepherd girls crept up behind him, Yibing suddenly leapt up and bolted for the riverbank, moving so swiftly it looked seamless even to the onlookers outside. The shepherd girls froze in shock, and so did those outside the wall.

Yet after just two steps, Yibing stopped dead, stared vacantly at those outside the wall, then turned and ran toward a small grove. Seeing that he hadn’t noticed them at all, the shepherd girls tiptoed after him. But once Yibing entered the grove, all was silent for a long time, making the girls nervous. They exchanged glances, then rushed in together—only to come flying back out moments later.

“What happened?” Pangniuer asked anxiously, clenching her fists.

Hanyu wanted to say something, but hesitated.

“Didn’t you see them holding their noses? Wait—” Meiniang’s words cut off as she noticed a new small black dot at the edge of the grove.

“Is that the turtle?” Biyi blurted out.

“I think so…” Qi Yuanxiao replied hurriedly.

Hanyu couldn’t hold back any longer; she burst out laughing, nearly rolling on the ground.

Indeed, Yibing had simply relieved himself in the woods! He’d been eating enthusiastically when his stomach suddenly cramped, impossible to bear. He’d thought of running to the river, but realized those outside the wall might see, so he darted into the woods—accidentally fumigating the shepherd girls right out. The divine turtle, of course, had hopped out on its own beforehand.

The shrieks outside the grove alerted Yibing to approaching danger. Just as he pulled up his trousers, he quickly drew out the divine iron.

“Fatty, get out here!” The shepherd girls, still reeling from the stench, dared not approach closer, keeping a wary distance of several meters from the grove.

“I’m not coming out!” Yibing wasn’t that foolish; seeing the crowd of whip-wielding demon girls outside, he wasn’t about to walk into a trap.

“Come out!”

“No! Cough, cough…”

But before long, Yibing walked out on his own—the stench inside was truly unbearable. Spotting the divine turtle lying belly-up not far away, he reached for it, but the turtle flipped over and vanished in a flash.

“Brother Turtle, you…” Yibing felt acutely embarrassed.

“Fatty!” Suddenly, a sharp voice shouted behind him, accompanied by the crack of a whip. Yibing dropped and rolled instinctively, swinging the divine iron behind him. A chorus of shrieks followed. Looking back, he saw the demon girls scattering in panic. Glancing down, he realized the divine iron had transformed into a gigantic black serpent!

Yibing nearly dropped the divine iron in fright. The black serpent in the dungeon had been terrifying enough these past days; he hadn’t meant to conjure it, but the weapon had transformed as his mind wandered. He glanced at the onlookers outside the wall, secretly relieved: “Thank goodness I wasn’t thinking about those lovely legs in the Temple of Ten Thousand Miasmas, or else…” To his horror, the serpent’s head instantly morphed into a delicate jade foot.

“Uh-oh!” Yibing quickly jabbed the serpent into the ground, forcing himself to think only of the dungeon’s black serpent, not those beautiful legs.

Meanwhile, the crowd outside, who had jumped back in fright, now gathered again.

“What’s he doing?” Pangniuer stared, baffled, at Yibing in the painting. The others were equally puzzled; scaring off the demon girls with a black serpent made sense, but standing rooted to the spot, neither chasing nor fleeing, was incomprehensible.

By now, the demon girls had cautiously circled back, whips raised, ready to strike the black serpent at any moment. Yibing, now calm, glanced at the divine iron—it had reverted to the black serpent form.

“Chubby, how did you get in here?” asked the lead demon girl nervously.

“I... I don’t know...” Yibing scratched his head, bewildered. Only then did he realize the lead demon girl was the little Taoist nun who’d opened the door at the Sun and Moon Temple, though now she was dressed, or rather undressed, as a demoness—her outfit even more revealing than Meiniang’s, and when the wind blew…

“You don’t know?!” The lead girl lashed out with her whip.

Yibing raised the serpent to block—it deflected the main strike, but the tip still curled and lashed his back, making him roll on the ground in pain. The other demon girls seized the chance, whipping down on him like shooting stars, forcing him to tumble and dodge madly. He took many blows, but finally found an opening, rolled to his feet, and shot out like lightning. But just as he escaped the encirclement, a whip looped around his right ankle and yanked him back.

Frustrated, Yibing thought angrily, “If I really were a snake, I’d be able to bend and twist!” To his surprise, the black serpent in his hand immediately responded. He swung it at the whip holding his ankle, and the serpent coiled itself around the whip.

“If only it could grow longer, then I could bite her!” As soon as he thought it, the serpent elongated, racing up the whip straight toward the demon girl.

“Heavens!” she shrieked, dropping the whip and leaping back.

“Longer, coil her up!” Yibing urged mentally. Instantly, the serpent grew explosively, pinning the demon girl to the ground.

“Attack! He’s unarmed!” To everyone’s surprise, the bound demon girl showed no fear.

The other girls rushed in. Yibing grabbed the captured demon girl by the throat and shouted, “Come any closer and I’ll destroy her cultivation!”

“No, no!” she screamed, and the others stopped in their tracks. Clearly, like Hanyu, they feared nothing more than having their cultivation ruined. How to actually do that, Yibing hadn’t a clue, but bluffing would buy time.

“Tell me, what have you done with my friends? Wait—” Yibing noticed it was once again the lead demon girl he’d captured. Now, her clothing even more disheveled, he saw almost nothing but bare skin. Panicking, he averted his eyes to the sky.

“They... went to cultivate with the master!”

“What kind of cultivation?”

“Hee hee... The joyful kind!”

Could it be—Yibing shivered inside—was it that kind of “cultivation” Meiniang had endured?

“My, chubby, you sure know a lot!” The lead demon girl saw his face flush bright red and giggled. But why was he staring fixedly at the sky? She couldn’t fathom it. In this painted world, there was nothing in the sky but clouds.

“Enough nonsense. Where are they hidden?” Yibing was almost breathless.

“Chubby, what are you looking at?” The lead demon girl glanced down and suddenly understood—her own nearly naked form sprawled before him.

“What’s he looking at? There’s nothing up there,” the onlookers outside wondered, mystified.

“Nothing!” Yibing muttered.

“Hee hee, are you afraid to look at me?” she teased.

“Who... who... said I’m afraid to look at you...” Yibing’s voice was obviously lacking conviction.

“Oh, you’re such a liar! Clearly you’re afraid to look, yet you keep pretending!” she scolded coquettishly.

“Fine, I’ll look!” Yibing stared straight into her eyes. Her cheeks were like peach blossoms, her gaze deep and flirtatious, far more potent than Meiniang’s by the riverside.

“Look at you, blushing! Hee hee...” She blew him a playful kiss.

“How do I get out of here?” Yibing was getting dizzy—best to leave quickly and find his senior brothers.

“If you know how to get in, how could you not know how to get out?” The demon girl blinked curiously. Yibing’s head spun.

“I was pushed in, crashed right through...”

“Then just crash back out!” she said, finally realizing he’d stumbled in by accident.

“I... Tell me, or else...” Yibing tightened his grip.

“Oh my, if you want to touch me, you don’t have to be so rough!” she purred, licking Yibing’s fat little hand.

“Hey!” Yibing yanked his hand away, startled.

Seeing their leader no longer restrained, the other demon girls rushed in, their whips snaking forth and quickly binding Yibing’s hands and feet, hoisting him into the air. Though he clung to the divine iron, he was otherwise immobilized. Looking down, he saw the lead demon girl’s mouth agape in terror—having such a hefty fellow dangling above her did not bode well. She hastily began reciting spells. Yibing panicked, afraid she’d cast something on him, and shouted inwardly, “If only the serpent’s head could bite her throat! If only the serpent’s head could bite her throat!”

“No, no!” the lead demon girl screamed, making the others leap away. Sometimes, intuition is right on target. Yibing crashed down hard atop her, and even those outside the wall could feel the mural quake.

“Heavens, that poor girl...” Meiniang grimaced. “Such pleasure, such pain...”