Volume One, Chapter Twenty-Nine: Coming In, Going Out

For half a day, no one moved a muscle—neither those within the painting nor those outside it.

Finally, as the ripples on the small river faded, Yi Bing slowly crawled to his feet. He looked up: the black serpent’s fangs were indeed poised at the throat of the leading demoness.

“Hey, are you alright?” Seeing her motionless, eyes wide open, mouth agape, with her tongue lolling out, Yi Bing couldn’t help but worry.

The demoness’s tongue drew back in.

“It’s good you’re fine... It’s good...” Yi Bing let out a long sigh of relief. Whether human or demon, life is precious; crushing someone to death is never ideal.

“Get... off... you... fat... lump...” the demoness whispered weakly.

“Oh... Oh...” Yi Bing quickly slid off her. The other demonesses all took a cautious step back, clutching their whips in alarm.

“Hey, Hong Qin, have you had enough fun yet?” one demoness suddenly called out, indignant. So the leader’s name was Hong Qin!

“What fun?!” Hong Qin gasped for breath before replying. She felt as though her soul had been smashed out of her body just now!

“Fun? We’re snake charmers. You know a single black serpent can’t restrain you, yet you deliberately let it coil around you. Fine, we figured you fancied the fat boy, so we played along. But you can’t drag it out endlessly! Why let yourself get caught by him again?” The demoness’s little nose nearly twisted with frustration.

“Deliberately? Hmph...” Hong Qin sighed deeply. “I couldn’t break free at all! I recited the spell several times, but it wouldn’t obey me!”

Hearing this, Yi Bing broke out in a cold sweat. That was close! Better hurry and escape! He quickly sat atop Hong Qin. “Tell me, how do I get out? Quick, tell me...” He tried to lighten his weight, but still nearly made Hong Qin cry out, even the black serpent gaped at the pressure. Realizing the situation, Yi Bing hurriedly lifted his rear a bit.

“Ah... Why leave? Why not stay and cultivate with me!” Hong Qin suddenly blushed, switching from force to charm.

“Nonsense! I... have... a master!” Yi Bing stammered.

“Is your master as beautiful as me? Is she?” Hong Qin deliberately twisted her body, and the other demonesses began to sing in a moan.

“No...” Yi Bing’s mind conjured the four wispy beards of his mad master, as lovely as Hong Qin’s hair.

“Since not, then stay with me!” Hong Qin’s voice was as seductive as poison.

“That’s trouble!” Though the voices were inaudible, the demonesses’ dancing made Mei Niang cry out instantly.

“Hmph! Same tricks as you!” Han Yu understood what she was worried about.

“What do you mean?” Bi Yi looked at Qi Yuanxiao, who opened his mouth in embarrassment but said nothing.

“Ah!” Yi Bing suddenly screamed and sprang up, his cry so wretched it silenced everything.

Looking down, he saw the divine turtle had somehow crawled out and was fiercely biting his ankle. The turtle’s jaws were strong enough to snap a nail—this bite was brutal. Yi Bing hurried to grab it, but the turtle, instead of dodging, promptly released him.

“Turtle brother! Turtle brother!” Yi Bing joyfully cradled the divine turtle. Yet the turtle ignored him, shot him a glare, then tucked its head into its shell. Yi Bing swallowed awkwardly and stuffed it into his coat, thinking, “Thank goodness for that bite, otherwise I’d be doomed again! Sigh... One disaster after another, never learning my lesson—how embarrassing! I wonder if those outside the wall noticed? Better quickly ask how to get out, or I’ll surely fall prey to these demonesses!”

“Tell me how to get out!” Yi Bing widened his eyes, adorable yet unmistakably resolute. Hong Qin knew he would brook no refusal.

“Alright, alright, I’ll tell you! To enter, you stand outside the wall and bang your forehead against the part near the small bridge...” Hong Qin glanced at the other demonesses as she spoke.

“I’m asking how to get out!” Yi Bing puffed his cheeks in anger.

“Oh? Oh! Right! To leave, you must... Fat brother, could you move it away from me? Its breath stinks...” Hong Qin pleaded softly, eyes full of affection.

“...Alright... alright...” Here we go again! Yi Bing quickly looked away, and the snake’s head left Hong Qin’s throat.

“Fat brother, you must exit over there, just there...” Hong Qin said coyly, gesturing behind Yi Bing.

“Where?” Yi Bing quickly turned his head.

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“It’s that little bridge over there... hehehe...” Hong Qin suddenly burst out laughing, sending a chill down Yi Bing’s spine. He turned to look, but aside from the black serpent curled on the ground, Hong Qin had vanished. At the same time, the demonesses’ whips lashed out in unison, binding his hands and feet again and squeezing the black serpent at its vital spot.

“Dead fatty!” Hong Qin’s sharp shout came from above. He looked up just as a little red-beaked finch flew straight at him. Before he could react, the bird transformed into Hong Qin, eyes wide, who swung her whip and struck Yi Bing’s hand, causing the black serpent to slip from his grasp and turn back into an iron rod.

“Dead fatty, crushing me like that!” Hong Qin plopped herself onto Yi Bing’s belly and pressed down hard.

“It’s not my fault! You brought this on yourself!” Yi Bing said unmoved.

“Hey? Where’s the turtle?!” Hong Qin rummaged through Yi Bing’s coat.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“You think I enjoy this? Greasing up my hands!” Hong Qin complained as she hopped off, unwilling to let the divine iron go.

Yi Bing was dragged away into the distance, and those outside the wall grew anxious. They had come to rescue someone, but instead, another had fallen in.

“Huh?! Strange!” Watching Hong Qin swing the divine iron back and forth, Qi Yuanxiao was astonished. He hadn’t been able to budge it in King Yu’s Cave, so how could the demoness pick it up?

“What’s strange?” Jin Gui Shan asked.

“That divine iron—how can the demoness carry it?” Qi Yuanxiao pointed.

“Yes, yes!” The chubby girl and others were equally surprised, while Hong Kun and his friends were clueless.

“Since leaving King Yu’s Cave, none of us have touched the divine iron. Maybe it’s always been carryable, just won’t obey anyone else. Look at the demoness!” Han Yu muttered. The demoness fiddled with it for ages without effect, finally tucking it at her waist.

“Oh, the turtle!” Bi Yi suddenly cried.

Everyone turned, and sure enough, the divine turtle was steadily crawling across the small bridge toward the wall’s outer side. At the bridgehead, it stopped and stretched its neck toward the wall, as if preparing to ram it.

“What’s it doing?” Mei Niang asked.

“How should I know! Trying to get out, I suppose...” Han Yu shrugged.

For ages, the turtle couldn’t break through. It seemed furious, scratching its head with its forelegs and shouting toward the retreating demonesses.

“Can’t get out, now it’s swearing! Hahaha...” Mei Niang laughed, but seeing everyone’s stony faces, hurriedly stopped.

The turtle soon tired of swearing. It lay on the bridge, then suddenly flipped over. After a while, it flipped back. Then again. Back and forth, shell to ground, belly to ground, confusing everyone outside.

“Gone mad?” Mei Niang said seriously. Han Yu shot her a glare.

Finally, the turtle stopped flipping. It turned, head toward the wall, rear outward, and resumed stretching its neck. Soon, it turned back and nodded toward the wall.

“This crazy turtle keeps flipping—is it trying to tell us something backwards?” Han Yu frowned.

“Maybe... Ramming the wall to get out, what does ramming inward mean?” Hong Peng mused.

“Wants us to ram in? But we tried that already!” Bi Yi interjected.

Before her words ended, the turtle began to use its forelegs to lift the great cauldron, smashing its head against the bridge.

“I get it! It’s saying: ram your head in at the bridgehead...” Han Yu’s confidence faltered at the end. Headfirst ramming is no joke, and it’s just a guess.

“Sister!” Jin Gui Shan cried. But before he could stop her, the chubby girl had already slammed her head into the wall. Everyone closed their eyes, expecting a crash, but when they looked, she was already sprawled inside the mural.

“Such... a silly... girl...” Han Yu patted her chest.

“Turtle brother? Turtle brother?” The chubby girl searched for the turtle’s shadow on the bridge, but not a trace could be found.

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“...Get... off...” A weak voice came from beneath her, startling the chubby girl into jumping up.

On the bridge, the divine turtle was flattened by her, its neck and legs stretched unnaturally long.

“Turtle brother, I’m so sorry!” The chubby girl teared up, quickly peeling it off the ground.

Those who followed in burst in wanted to laugh but held back, faces flushed red.

“Um... divine turtle, are you alright?” Han Yu asked with a grin.

“Alright? Try letting her crush you!” The turtle nearly bit Han Yu’s nose, had it not been held.

“Hey, don’t get mad! She’s just worried for you! If it weren’t for you, we couldn’t have come in!” Han Yu jumped away in fright.

“Hmph!” Han Yu’s praise clearly pleased the turtle, who lifted its neck proudly.

“Turtle brother, it’s all my fault, all my fault. Scold me, please!” The chubby girl apologized.

The turtle stiffened its neck and rolled its eyes: “No scolding; you were the first to figure it out. Merit cancels fault—your punishment is to carry me! Let me crush you for a change!”

“Of course! Of course!” The chubby girl laughed through tears, hurriedly stuffing it in her pack.

“Having merit and fault cancel, yet still punishing her? Why not let me carry you, venerable one?” Han Yu teased sarcastically. The turtle stuck out its head, looked at Han Yu, then retreated: “No!”

“I’ll do it!” The chubby girl said gratefully. Han Yu stuck out her tongue slyly.

“Run slower! Don’t hop like a rabbit! I get jostled!” The turtle shouted, making Han Yu lunge for the pack, but the chubby girl quickly stopped her.

“What’s wrong?” The turtle peered out warily.

“Nothing, nothing! Let’s hurry and rescue Yi Bing!” The chubby girl changed the subject, and the turtle gave Han Yu a glare before retreating. Han Yu opened her mouth, itching to curse.

Dragging Yi Bing was exhausting. The demonesses moved slowly, only reaching the mountain’s foot after much effort. Distance within the painting felt different from outside; it wasn’t as far as it appeared.

“Hey, Hong Qin, how do we climb this slope?” Staring at the palace above, the demonesses all looked pained.

“This damned fatty!” Hong Qin kicked Yi Bing viciously, then pulled out a bronze mirror.

“Oh! You should have taken that out earlier—we wouldn’t be so tired!” The demonesses complained.

“I forgot! I meant to use it in the dungeon tonight!” Hong Qin apologized.

“Hurry up, hurry up! Let’s go back! If we’re late, the Master will scold us again!”

Hong Qin quickly raised the bronze mirror, aiming it at Yi Bing. She chanted, and a red beam shot from the mirror, instantly hitting Yi Bing’s large face.

“Hey?” Yi Bing panicked and closed his eyes.

“Wow!” The demonesses’ shrieks made Yi Bing open his eyes in fright.

Something felt different—his posture had changed! He was just gazing at the blue sky, but now it was all green grass, and he had a strong urge to eat it. What were these two sheep hooves? Why was there wool on his chest? Heaven help him, he’d been turned into a sheep!

“Hehe, even as a sheep, you’re a fat one!” Hong Qin giggled.

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