Chapter Twelve: Potato Chips Are Truly Delicious

After realizing what had happened, Cheng Yu hurriedly scrambled off Chi Xiaoxiao, awkwardly wiping his mouth before he started picking up potatoes scattered across the ground. He showed no intention of helping the unlucky meat cushion up.

The incident happened so suddenly that Chi Xiaoxiao hadn't even had time to gather spiritual energy; he landed with the back of his head on the ground, stars exploding before his eyes, and was kissed by Cheng Yu who had landed atop him. Being kissed by a child would be nothing, but the real problem was that after the kiss, Cheng Yu seemed only concerned with picking up potatoes. Were the potatoes more important than him?

"Brother Cheng Yu, you've sullied my purity—don't you feel obliged to make amends? I am a maiden of sixteen, a flower in bloom, and now my chastity has been taken for nothing. How will I face my family, elders, brothers, and sisters? My betrothed is also the only scholar for miles around—will he still want me, now that I'm impure? Boohoohoo!" Chi Xiaoxiao lay on the ground, his expression mournful, as if he were about to die from shame and indignation.

Clutching two potatoes, Cheng Yu wanted to tell Chi Xiaoxiao to snap out of it... It was his own fault for not watching where he walked, or none of this would have happened. Chi Xiaoxiao had even learned to boohoo—worthy of the title little demon king, his future was limitless.

"Your scholar fiancé was lured away by a fox spirit on his way to the capital for the imperial exam. Right now, he's probably enjoying himself with seven or eight beautiful fox maidens in some abandoned temple. Why not accept me instead? I promise you'll live in luxury, eating delicacies every day." Cheng Yu replied offhandedly, piling the potatoes he’d gathered together, then dusting off his hands and hauling the 'maiden' up from the ground.

Chi Xiaoxiao found the tale of the scholar and fox spirits amusing; in ordinary storybooks, such a pairing would inevitably end with the mortal outsmarting the demon, or the scholar battling the fox spirit three times. In his experience, he'd never seen a demon cultivator break their vows for a mere mortal, risking their cultivation for fleeting feelings—a losing trade indeed.

But since Cheng Yu had played along, Chi Xiaoxiao wouldn’t back down easily. Having just risen, he continued to accuse Cheng Yu, now playing the role of shameless rascal: "You scoundrel, don’t slander my fiancé. Fox spirits treasure their cultivation—why would they ruin it with such crimes? Clearly, you’re scheming to break us apart. Tomorrow, I’ll have the villagers ask the magistrate for justice!"

Cheng Yu saw that Chi Xiaoxiao was deeply immersed in the act; this kid was not easy to fool. If he couldn’t use his superior intellect to best Chi Xiaoxiao today, he’d be doomed to suffer the endless nagging of the little demon king forever.

"Hehehe, little maiden, you don’t know—the magistrate is my second uncle!" Suddenly fired up, Cheng Yu adopted the mannerisms of a leering, shifty uncle, grinning so lasciviously that even the shameless Chi Xiaoxiao was startled.

Chi Xiaoxiao, possessed of excellent acting skills, recovered in a second. Suddenly changing his style, he donned a bashful expression: "Oh, how hateful you are, my lord! If only you’d said you were the magistrate’s nephew earlier, the matchmakers would have worn your family’s threshold flat. Since you have deep affection for me, and we already share skinship, why not choose an auspicious day and hold the wedding?" He produced a handkerchief from who knows where, raised a delicate finger, and used it to cover half his face, revealing eyes full of tender emotion, occasionally glancing at Cheng Yu with a coy smile.

Cheng Yu, a model youth raised under the radiance of socialism, had never seen such shameless behavior. One moment, Chi Xiaoxiao was a martyr willing to die for honor; the next, he defected to the enemy camp without hesitation. Cheng Yu had been ready to disgust Chi Xiaoxiao with his creepy uncle act and then fight to the bitter end, but he hadn’t expected his opponent to be so brazen—willing to marry on the spot, forsaking his fiancé without a second thought. Clearly, he didn’t know Chi Xiaoxiao well enough.

While Cheng Yu was momentarily speechless, the bashful little demon king spoke again: "Oh dear, I nearly forgot. Though we are of one heart, the six marriage rites must be performed for a proper union. As for the betrothal gifts, no need for fuss, just a few chests of gold and jade will suffice."

"Please, say no more. Tomorrow, I’ll shave my head and become a monk..." Cheng Yu admitted defeat, conceding that he was no match for Chi Xiaoxiao; as for regaining dignity, it was best to pretend nothing had happened.

You can be as cheeky as you like; I’ll treat you as a little brother—no need for any weird affections. Cheng Yu silently recited a mantra for purity, comforting himself that, as an adult, he could be magnanimous and let the child have his fun.

Chi Xiaoxiao, unexpectedly sensible, closed his mouth and tucked away the handkerchief, returning to normal. He trotted after Cheng Yu out of the woods.

With their potatoes in tow, the pair wandered about asking questions, finally finding a small kitchen. The kitchen boy there only knew how to make sweet snacks, and had never heard of fried potatoes—a novelty.

Cheng Yu had to do it himself. He selected several potatoes, washed and peeled them, sliced them thin, and soaked them in salt water. After about ten minutes, he drained them, then had Chi Xiaoxiao help light the fire and heat the oil. When the oil was hot enough, he dropped in the potato slices, frying them until both sides were golden, then drained them. Once cooled, the fragrant, crispy homemade chips were ready.

"Though the immortal’s cooking produces a bit of smoke, it smells absolutely delicious," the little kitchen boy praised.

Cheng Yu scratched his head sheepishly, plating the chips and handing them to the boy, who received them with delight. Noticing another immortal eyeing the plate hungrily, he cleverly suggested they enjoy the food outside, among the flowers.

Both agreed to the idea. The kitchen boy led them around to a large courtyard full of various flowers, with camellias and crabapple blossoms in full bloom.

He placed the chips on a stone table in the octagonal pavilion, then ran back to fetch three bowls of cane and water chestnut sweet soup, along with a small plate of preserved crabapple.

Having eaten bland congee for nearly a month, Cheng Yu felt warmth and happiness return. Chips, crispy and aromatic; sweet soup, refreshing and cooling; and the tangy preserved fruit—this was life worth living, and the journey was worthwhile.

"Burp—haven’t eaten so much in ages." Chi Xiaoxiao, raised on immortal fruit, soon found his stomach defeated by the feast. Unable to eat more, he wandered about the spring garden to help digest.

The kitchen boy, whose true form was a celestial crane, soon patted his belly and stopped eating too, watching Cheng Yu devour the food with amazement—this immortal had a better appetite than even the sect leader.

Cheng Yu, like a whirlwind, finished off the remaining chips and preserved fruit, then gulped down the sweet soup, finally putting down his bowl with satisfaction.

"What are these baskets for?" Chi Xiaoxiao, walking among the flowers, pointed to the bamboo baskets under the camellia and crabapple trees.

The kitchen boy glanced over and replied, "The medical immortals collect fallen petals for medicine. Every evening, someone takes away the baskets, and returns them next morning."

"No wonder my eldest sister keeps talking about Green Jade Sect’s Camellia Jade Cream. She says it quickly stops bleeding and leaves no scars, and asked me to bring her a bottle if I ever get the chance. I wonder if this medicine can be taken away," Chi Xiaoxiao said cheerfully.

Seeing the charming child with cute tiger teeth, the kitchen boy’s defenses melted. Smiling, he replied, "Your sister is very knowledgeable. Our sect’s pills are much loved by immortals from all clans. If you want Camellia Jade Cream, just visit Immortal Lin He on Apricot Grove Peak—he specializes in beauty and rejuvenation pills, and might have other good things for your sister as well."

Chi Xiaoxiao brightened. "If so, I’ll definitely visit him when I get the chance."

The kitchen boy had to deliver sweet soup to the sect leader, so he didn’t linger, quickly tidying up and promising to keep the unused potatoes safe. He invited the pair to visit the kitchen again.

Cheng Yu and Chi Xiaoxiao returned to the new disciples’ courtyard. Since the special training hadn’t yielded much, Chi Xiaoxiao brought out a heap of cheat tools—not only the seeds condensed by the Wood Spirit Child as planned, but also various strange magical items. Cheng Yu was dazzled just looking at them, let alone knowing how to use each properly.

Chi Xiaoxiao hadn’t expected Cheng Yu to be so clueless—preferring not to use ready-made gadgets. But since the competition was Cheng Yu’s, not his own, he couldn’t force the matter, so he put away the miscellaneous tools, leaving only a few Wood Spirit Child seeds.

"Since you only understand how to use these seeds, let’s stick to the original plan. Throw them secretly onto the stage, and when the time is right, silently recite ‘Sesame, bloom!’ to make them sprout. Once they grow into vines, any cultivator below the Golden Core level won’t be able to escape. When your opponent is entangled, go up and hit him hard in the belly—don’t hold back, there’ll be medical immortals standing by," Chi Xiaoxiao instructed.

Cheng Yu nodded eagerly, obedient as a chick pecking grain, though inwardly he mourned for his future opponent. He was sorry for the unlucky fellow; if only he could master fire, he wouldn’t have to resort to violence. Who knew—he might end up making the opponent vomit breakfast, the scene would be spectacular.

To prepare for tomorrow’s match, Cheng Yu went to bed as soon as night fell, determined to rest well and build up strength for the fight.

Halfway through the night, Cheng Yu rolled over and felt a strange shadow sitting by his bed. Groggily opening his eyes, he saw Chi Xiaoxiao in red, hair loose and face deathly pale, grinning at him.

"Holy crap! Mom, it’s a ghost! Don’t come near, go away!" With a scream that echoed through the night, Cheng Yu, still half-asleep, managed to fling a ball of fire that lit up the darkness.

Chi Xiaoxiao wiped the flour from his face and smiled, his scheme successfully executed.